Participation is Opportunity
This is my seventh attempt at writing a blog since my last. For whatever reason, I can’t properly express whatever it is that I want to. One of my unpublished posts was about how there’s so much happening right now and that being the reason I’ve been unable to write. But things keep happening, and I need to write. Among the many things taking place, my dad is visiting here in Iceland. We had dinner last night with my girlfriend — a “new” relationship that is vibrant and flourishing. She and I are working on grand projects. One of those is participating in a training program starting next month that will end in a fundraiser for our ideas. We also applied for office space at a new community hub.
Meanwhile, my third book is fully released, and I’ll have my first shipment next month. I’m reading poetry in two weeks for the monthly event series that I haven’t been able to participate in for a while. Most exciting of all, I got accepted for my first-ever gallery showing for my photography work; the opening is February 19th. I’m running for a board position in a local creative space — I have no clue how that will be, but the elections are tomorrow. I have my proof copy of my book now, so I plan on visiting the bookstore where I held open mics and seeing about hosting a release event.
While everything is nice, it’s also a lot and very fast. I thought last year was crazy. Never would I have imagined myself where I am now: with my own apartment, being a community figure, running a business, having a beautiful relationship, finally having a gallery show accepted, and being paid by the government to not work a soul-draining job. It is overwhelming. But I think the reason that it’s overwhelming is worth some thought.
When I was first searching for a job and trying to establish myself here, the motivation was necessity: the need to do anything at all. Then, with my job, I could do whatever work-related tasks were presented, finish them, and return to my own life. Now, in my new circumstances, there is no structure or organization. There is no need or higher authority to dictate my steps or actions. Only me. That is what was so paralyzing at first.
I think of my writing group: I didn’t have it in me to restore the group. It would be so easy to, but I simply didn’t have the drive. However, as soon as I saw this upcoming board election, I decided to run for the sake of taking part in something exciting. This made me realize something important about the idea of opportunity: the only meaningful opportunity is participation. Opportunity, in the traditional sense, has nothing to do with what possibilities are around you. Opportunity is the choice to participate in the world. It isn’t about finding a fancy job. It’s about volunteering your time to start a group. It isn’t about being accepted into a competitive program. It’s about trying things out like running for unpaid board positions because it sounds exciting.
Such participation builds your personal community, and with that community, you can do anything — anything at all, like restarting a writing group. When people ask me to do something, I say yes. Not because I feel obligated to, but because I want to participate in the world. Fear of both the outcome and your own capabilities are natural. But the only way to learn and to grow is to try. Consistency builds a world. There’s nothing to lose along the way.
What’s next for me is learning how to initiate and organize meeting friends. Last week, I ran into an old friend who suggested we meet up sometime. Yesterday, I ran into another who said the same. I haven’t been spending time with my close friends either because of everything that’s going on. I can’t imagine it would be any different to organize get-togethers with friends than it would be to organize public events like I’m used to. I plan on tackling this matter once my dad leaves. It’s only up from here.