The Solution to Everything

I’ve been away for some time, both from the digital and physical world. I was caught up in an abusive relationship which “sadly” came to an end very recently. It drained my time and energy, and that — combined with all the other disasters going on in my life — left me in a state I would hardly call existence. I actually wrote about all this but took it down a few hours later because I realized that I was simply angry. Even as I write this paragraph, the entirety of my human willpower is being used to avoid writing any more details than this. All I will say is that I was screamed at every single day, for every tiniest of reason, then blamed for it all.

My mom was visiting me this week while the relationship ended. It was a fortuitous timing, because I had made many plans/arrangements for her to meet my friends as well as friends of our family who are many in Iceland. So, while dealing with my heartbreak, I was completely and totally surrounded by people who love and care about me. Of course, it was very difficult to talk about everything, especially with my dear psychologist friend who asked me to reflect on why I stayed with this girl for over a year.

That might take me some more time to understand, but what I do now is that I have now discovered the solution to everything. It’s quite simple, and I even wrote about it before. I suppose I just never bothered to take my own advice. Meet people and do things. That’s it. I finished cleaning out my ex’s stuff this morning, and all I could do was stare out the window at the ocean and thing, “What am I supposed to do now?” Well, with her out of the picture, I finally have the energy to create again.

I’ve been taking pictures, writing poetry, meeting my friends, going to events, and doing all those beautiful, wonderful things that I have missed for over a year. So, what did I do after asking that question? I created the video at the bottom of this post. It’s something I have been dreaming of for as long as I can remember. An incredible musician composed music for a poem I wrote in May. Last month, I went with a friend to record some footage as a test of my camera. My dream was always to combine all my interests: music, poetry, and abstract visuals. So that’s what I did, and I’m proud of this piece, Silent Ocean.

I’m also breaking past all my fears and reservations, and leaping out of my comfort zone. For example, I know a musician who invited me to a musical/artistic improv group. I’ll check that out on Saturday, even though I am not so great at music yet myself. But who knows what could happen. Go. Have fun. That’s the point.

I’ve been arranging consistent meetings with my friends, having fun, and doing what we all enjoy. I miss that. I don’t think life has any meaning or value without good people to accompany it. The phrase, “It takes an army,” is not about raising children. It’s about experiencing life. Without an army of people at your side, you are not human. Humans are made to be around each other, experiencing and engaging. Not just that, but also creating and sharing.

Thus, I am back. Here’s to a new era of creative explorations and the enjoyment of life.

I now present, Silent Ocean: